In a day we come across a lot of people, having different types of traits and personalities. Some remain unknown to us, while some make a long-lasting impression upon us. We like the things they do and how they do it. So we stay in touch with them get to know them better and then become friends. As time pass, we start to see the signs that “there’s something wrong”. Most of the time we ignore the signs, as we don’t expect that our loved ones can be toxic and are the ones that are leaving you drained. At other times, we are afraid to speak up and confront the toxic people who are giving us negative vibes.
Instead of trusting our guts, we would rather carry the baggage of a dead toxic relation. Because why not? It makes us feel more comfortable. Psychological research says, “That criticism and insults are five times more powerful than compliments.” This means that you need to have five positive interactions to make up one bad remark.
Also, research pieces of evidence show that even if you have a few interactions with a negative person it can severely affect your happiness. Whether it is negativity, brutality, and plain craziness, toxic people can be very stressful and they should be avoided at all costs.
Staying stressed out for a few days can affect your brain’s ability of reasoning, weeks of stress can cause temporary damage to your brain cell, and months of stress can permanently destroy them. It means that toxic people not only makes you feel miserable but also causes serious mental health issues.
Always remember that “vibes don’t lie”.
According to Talent Smart research with more than a million people, they found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress to remain calm and in control. It means that they know how to identify toxic people and how to keep them at an arm’s length.
Toxic People, You Should Avoid
Following are the toxic personalities that you should stay away so that you don’t become one yourself:
Gossipers are the people who find it amusing to talk about someone’s misfortune. Some businesses in this world run because of these gossips. Gossip is like poison for the environment and it is specifically designed for the demise of others. We may think that gossiping is harmless but snowball gossip can sometimes cause major harm. Especially cruel gossips can cause job loss, breakups, health issues, and unnecessary and unwanted stress.
Also, it is wise to stay away from friends, family, and relatives who gossip about others in front of you, because you will be the topic of discussion for them later on. It is because it has become part of their personality.
How to tell if someone was Gossiping about You?
- Everyone seems awkward and quite as soon as you enter the room
- The gossipers will get fearful when they see you
- They will try to overcompensate it
- If they gossip about others they can gossip about you too
- They won’t make eye contact with you
- They will have a closed-off body language and their feet are pointing towards the door
Toxic people are sometimes the greatest criticizers too. Honest criticism is necessary for improvement. But the people who criticize out of fun and always make negative remarks no matter how good you are, possess a dark toxic personality. They can damage your self-esteem in such a way that you can expect.
They are extremely negative and pessimists, in their point of view nothing is good enough and nobody can ever succeed. Only a few people can handle negative criticism, but they may not be able to handle negative criticism at least not all at once. They will consistently judge you, but once you will start avoiding them you will know how peaceful your life is.
Such toxic people become a major hindrance if you are trying to work towards building a specific type of personality.
The wrong kind of criticism can be:
- Overly negative
- Personal attacks
- Unfair criticism for something that is not your fault or outside your control
- Delivered in an unpleasant way
You can easily spot a self-absorbed person from your group because you will feel completely alone when you are with him. Such a person believes in “Me” and not “We”. Self-love and making you a priority is good but going beyond the lines for yourself can be very toxic. This individual typically doesn’t show much concern about anyone or anything outside his interests.
Know that they have no regard for others’ feelings or welfare no matter how much you love them. It’s difficult to be kind to a self-centered person who is unkind to you, but becoming like them doesn’t help things. Alleviate any feeling of anger you may have towards them by focusing on the person you are. Continue being a kind and loving person that you know you are.
If you can’t completely withdraw from that person then continually remind them that the world does not revolve around them. It is important to be tolerant and give a selfish friend or partner a chance to change, and it is also important not to enable their selfishness ‘especially if it ends up hurting you’.
Envy simply means jealousy. For an envious person, the grass is always greener somewhere else. It doesn’t matter how fortunate that person might be, he will never find any satisfaction from any stroke of luck. He will always think that others are more blessed. A jealous person will always make sure that no one is better than him. But let’s be very clear, that there is always someone out there who is working harder than you, so he deserves better.
Spending more time with envious people can be dangerous as they have a habit of trivializing accomplishments, which makes them ungrateful.
Prominent Traits of Envious People
- They are very good copycats
- Will intentionally give you bad advice
- They may discourage you so that you won’t even try
- If your friend instinctively crosses his legs every time you share your achievement, it could be a signal that he envies you
- You will have a feeling that they become happy when you fail
- They will not attend your moments of success
One of the worst types of toxic people is ‘manipulators’. Because they are the ones that make you trust them. They will remain your good friends, will sugar coat the things, and with a smile on their face they will stab you in your back for their benefit. It will be done in such a friendly way you couldn’t even realize that you are being manipulated. They know what you like, what makes you laugh, your strengths and weaknesses and they will use them against you at the right time. If you look keenly to your relationship with them you will see that it all takes, take, and take with little or no giving.
Through their shrewdness, they convince you to give up something of yourself to serve their self-centered interests. In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will repeatedly try to manipulate you until you shut it down.
Avoid manipulative people; otherwise, we will spend the rest of your energy confronting them.
To know more about manipulators and how to deal with them, read:
We all lie at times. We are humans and we make mistakes but a habitual liar leaves no room for trust. Such chronic liars can be very harmful, as you don’t know what their truth is. They make you live in the world of fools because they repeatedly break promises, and whenever you count on them they let you down.
They lie to you about other people and lies to other people about you. You may even develop mistrust for others because of such people. So, it’s better to stay away from such types of toxic people. The lies may become elaborate and detailed, but they are often easy to verify. Try to identify the liars and shut them down as soon as possible.
Dementors are dark creatures that consume human happiness, creating an ambiance of coldness, darkness, misery, and despair. J.K. Rowling the author of the Harry Potter series said that she developed the concept for dementors based on highly negative people. They suck the life out of people and leave then as empty shells and bring feelings of hopelessness, despair, sadness, low self-esteem, and love.
‘Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, and they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them.
If you know people who have dementors type vibes, it’s best to avoid them.
Judgmental people have a very good sense of predictions. They can tell you how certain things are going to happen and what will be their result. Judgmental people have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others.
The reality is no one is perfect. Everyone has its flaws but they don’t understand it and make judgments irrespective of the circumstances.
A lady got divorced; this has to be her fault. A person is a smoker; he has to be a vagabond. A girl is wearing indecent clothes, she has to be characterless. That’s how they judge people.
People are not always ready to hear their truths, everyone knows their drawbacks. If a motivating remark can make someone’s day then what else do we need? Everyone has his struggles, so it is good to be kind in this harsh world.
If you know someone with this mentality, it will be best if you cut them off and live your life.
Tips to Deal with Judgmental People
- See them as if they were a child
- Focus on other people who love and support you
- Don’t take anything personally
- Stay compassionate
- Take their judgement as motivation
The people in our life who are insecure can make life hard for others, but their insecurity makes their lives far worse for themselves. In relationships, they need a guarantee that they’re loved. At work, they need to look more competent and skilled than everyone else.
One step in this regard is to identify how many people around you behave this way. Once you recognize where their insecurity is coming from, though, you can get over these reactions and move on to where you can help them.
Unfortunately, insecure people have an approach to life that either makes hurdles in their own lives or they make other people’s life doomed. They have no faith in themselves and that’s why they fail to trust their partners too. Instead of just swallowing their nerves and going for any dream, they think of the worst and insist that they’re doomed to fail. They’re so sure of this outcome that they won’t even try.
Characteristics of Insecure people
- They are afraid of judgments hence they avoid meeting new people
- They believe that they are not good enough
- Have trust issues
- They have a negative approach to life
There must be at least one person around you who always seems to become a victim in almost every situation. Such a person may have a victim personality. People who feel trapped in a state of victimization often do express a lot of negativity.
Their common behavior involves:
- Always blaming others for the circumstances
- They think that bad things only happen to them
- Nothing will be enough to make a change, no matter what you do they will remain suspiciously negative
People who come from a place of victimization may show little interest in trying to make changes. They may reject offers of help, and it may seem like they’re only interested in feeling sorry for themselves. Each new difficulty can reinforce these unhelpful ideas until they’re firmly embedded in their inner prologue. Over time, negative self-talk can damage resilience, making it harder to bounce back from challenges and heal. People who see themselves as victims may struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem. This can make feelings of victimization worse. The toxicity of the victim, who chooses to suffer every time, can make other people feel miserable.
Have you ever come across any of these toxic types of people? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.
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