In Islam, Marriage is a beautiful knot tied between a man and woman where responsibilities are endorsed upon both of them. Regarding how they take significant other in account and how they deal with them. As we all know, it’s not only the winter season, It’s the wedding season as well . Due to the pandemic Covid 19, when wedding halls were closed so people began to arrange these functions at home.
But as soon as circumstances got better, Marriage halls opened. So, the Majority preferred to conduct functions in these marriage halls as due to large gatherings it was difficult to arrange them in homes.
Lavish Marriage Ceremonies
Due to differences in social classes that are Upper, Middle and lower class, these differences get high. The rich and upper class people spending so much on wedding practices create a desire in lower classes. They consider it ‘Khushian’ . But I think that their poor soul doesn’t know that happiness does not come through extravagant spending or lavish ceremonies. The thing is everyone should be content from within themselves and that is what will bring them satisfaction and happiness.
Girl’s parents buy heavy sets of jewelry such as Gold, Silver and in extreme cases of platinum just to make her in-laws know that girl’s family is rich. Also, in some cases they prepare sets on special request for Groom and his whole family! By giving these expensive jewellery sets in the form of gifts which are actually dowry. They just create an example in society which is much difficult to follow for the middle or lower class. Even if someone belongs to an elite family, it doesn’t mean that they are supposed to spend big on functions and events. The fact that is of essence should be spending wisely.
These ceremonies are a status symbol and power of social influence for the upper class. Further depicting it on social media raises the desire amongst the younger generation. As they would also want to do the same. When the middle or lower class are unable to implement it or unable to spend that much on their wedding, they end up being the prey of complex and low self esteem leading to deadly mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety etc.
Simple wedding arrangements are just considered to be not normal anymore and are disappearing from our culture. People feel proud to arrange an extravagant wedding even if it empties their bank account. Spending big on wedding invitation cards is a mere sign that families are just beginning their planning for these arrangements. Nowadays, sole proprietors and big companies are making their name in event planning too. For their promotions, they offer discounts. People who are interested then contact them to avail those discounts therefore this is also a reason for extravagant spending as they charge high, but offer little discounts for their promotions.
Another trend followed from west is ‘Bridal Shower’. Even some of the Pakistani celebrities have done it and it is now very common in society. Some days before the bride’s wedding, invites are sent to the families. Preparing dresses for bridal showers, expensive catering and decorations are just a waste of time, money and are a complete show that they are putting up for the world to see.
Serving many dishes in wedding events is also a cause of not only wasting money but also wasting food. The reason for this is normally people don’t end up eating that much and the rest of the food which is a whole lot, ends up being wasted. Just to “portray” that the Girl’s family isn’t miser and the girl belongs to a wealthier family, they try to conduct events like this. Although Islam doesn’t appreciate the show-off nature of people but people don’t understand.
Getting ready from Top-Notch Beauty Salons
You don’t need to get ready from an expensive make-up artist to look like a fairy on your big day. All they earn is due to the name of their brand and the young girls get into their marketing tactic traps and feel overwhelmed by getting ready from a highly famous Beauty Salon.
Bridal Dresses from Famous brands
Girls feel quite proud to wear a branded and very heavy bridal dress of a well-known brand, even pressuring their parents at times because they saw their friend wearing a bridal dress of a particular brand. Wearing these branded dresses might make you look good but at the expense of your parent’s life savings and your social values basically end up differentiating you from others.
Traditional Different Functions
Due to the impact of media and status symbols, people are interested to leave an impression of “lavish weddings” and want to arrange and spend more on functions even if they run out of their budget and end up in debt which is definitely not a great idea.
Simplicity is the best policy. Our Holy Prophet PBUH conducted the wedding of her dearest daughter Hazrat Fatima (RA) with Hazrat Ali (RA) with simplicity. Recited Nikkah and few items decided for dowry of Hazrat Fatima (RA) that included a leather mat, Pitcher, Pillow, hand-mill, curtain, jugs and hand-mill. Only provided her daughter with basic required necessities.
But today people have set trends and made it compulsory to do more expensive functions. Increasing more functions and now not only limited to three. i.e., arranging dholki nights for long, bridal showers, Sangeet Nights, Qawwali Night and Mayun etc.
Although having a simple wedding is far better, it surely brings blessings. Quran Says: “Those who spend uselessly are brothers of Satan, and devil is the one who denies the blessings of his Lord”
This signifies a lot that a Muslim wedding shouldn’t be about boasting off. Obviously, Its Allah’s commandment that surely means a lot and is very close to a Muslims’ heart. Crucial thing is to practically implement it in your lives.
Heavy and Expensive Decor
Just to make the stage background more beautiful and appealing to the guests and further to make it prominent in pictures, a huge sum of money is spent on stage decorations. Heavy and expensive intricate flower decorations are ordered and selected for this purpose. Event planners charge high on this. Which is for sure not a good practice. A good decor is enough. That’s about it!
In today’s world, wedding photography has become quite a good business for many people. Charging extremely high on these occasions for bridal photoshoot as well as bride and groom’s photoshoot. Even your family members could click a good photograph from a good DSLR Camera. But calling on photographers who charge extremely high isn’t a good practice!
Our Religion Commandment
Islam suggests to conduct Nikkah Ceremony with your immediate/close relatives. That’s an accurate way to conduct marriage.
How to make your wedding Less Expensive?
- Just restrict your marriage ceremony to 2 or 3 functions that are Mehndi, Barat and Walima.
- Try Getting ready from a reasonable and good quality bridal Salon.
- Don’t reach those event planners that will make your functions non-affordable.
- Not purchasing costly bridal dresses.
- Choosing photographer wisely
- Keep Food and Decor simple even if you want to arrange Desi Food, Go for it!
- Avoid inviting too many people to your wedding.
- Avoiding unnecessary rituals such as providing gifts to the groom and their family. (in-laws)
Role of Government
Government has also played a role to some extent like they ordered one-dish for supper in weddings and the government also imposed another law to close wedding halls at 10 PM to save electricity, that has helped all the social classes to maintain a regular and decent wedding function but many elite class families have violated this rule as they use an excuse saying that wedding is held only once, so they want to make it more memorable and they think they will only be able to achieve it by making it expensive.
“If everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean that we have to do it as well”. It’s now common and is in the trend. These phrases aren’t enough to convince you to spend an exorbitant amount on a wedding. Just pray from Allah that everything goes well, your intentions need to be pure and sincere and everything would be fine and that’s what matters. Simple wedding is far better than an extravagant wedding and the reason being it will create ease for you and above all be liked by Allah (SWT).