Emotional Dependency:

What is an emotional dependency? Do we all depend on others emotionally? Is it being bad or good? Let’s read the article and get the answers.


When we hear the phrase emotional dependence, we automatically think of a person who is reliant on another person and every move or emotion depends on that person.

All feel feelings and emotions such as joy, sadness, grief, and rage. An emotionally dependent person does not take responsibility for his emotions; instead, they change with the person he is attached to.

Humans, being social animals interact with each other, share moments of sorrow and happiness, and get attached. We have friends, family, and other relations who are always with us through thick and thin. They support and advise us in many situations. But when we give others leverage to control our emotions and thoughts, hare things go wrong. 

Emotional dependency is the worst form of self-inflicted slavery.

(Divya Susen)

When you rely on a person too much and hold him at the forefront of your mind, and that person suddenly stops paying any attention to you as much as he did in the past. His ignorance causes you to wonder where you went wrong? You strive to make things work between you and that person. Gradually you would become a mental slave and sick. You don’t know what to do and All your activities stop with him. Furthermore, you would doubt yourself.

Why you let others dictate and manipulate your emotions when you are the master of your own life?

Signs of Emotional Dependent person:

An emotional dependent person is always

  • Insecure
  • Over possessive about everything
  • Beg for attention and time
  • Feeling not to be good enough for partner
  • Feeling guilty for doing anything entirely for themselves
  • Have difficulty in trusting themselves
  • when they are embarrassed or humiliated, they Don’t articulate how they feel
  • fear of losing a partner

You’re making a mistake if you overlook your feelings and justifying them with the argument that it’s because of love. Love is a place that protects your emotions and allows you to keep your feelings real and endure them.

Causes of Emotional dependence:

Some of the factors that leads to emotional dependency are

Negligence:

People who are neglected by others for so long adopt people-pleasing habits. They go to great lengths to obtain recognition from others. When they meet someone, they try to please that person, they align all of their activities and emotions with them. Their life revolves around that particular person.

Being away from family:

One of the factors that can lead to emotional dependency is being away from family. Since the person is far away from his loved ones, he always needs someone to love him and take care of him. Because of his loneliness, he becomes emotionally dependent on his fellows and friends.

Childhood trauma:

People who have been exposed to physical and verbal abuse or go through savior trauma like the death of a close relative during their childhood sometimes become emotionally reliant on others. They become obsessed with someone to the point that they can’t imagine a life without them. They feel safe in other’s environments and make them their own.

Inferiority Complex:

One of the most common causes of reliance on others is a lack of confidence in our ability to make sound decisions. They question their abilities and believe that others are necessarily perfect. The person who always thinks he is not good always looks towards others to help him.

The Effect of Emotional dependence:

Dependent Personality Disorder:

Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) is a mental illness in which the person is incapable of making decisions and taking care of themselves. He always fears being left alone and that fear puts him in a constant worry.

Addiction of a person is more dangerous than drug.

Poor self-care:

An emotionally dependent person cares about others more than their own self. They will suppress their feelings to protect the feelings of others.

Stress:

When you are emotionally dependent on someone their even small acts have an impact on you. If that person is stressed you would automatically feel stressed and numb. All your activities will be put on hold. Your mind will be consumed with figuring out how to remove the problem from that particular person’s life.

You will feel anxious when someone is not paying any attention to you. Your mind will come up with a thousand, reasons that you had done something wrong. You might feel like you had done something wrong and that will stress you.

You need to know that your mental health is more important than any friendship or relationship.

Doubt on oneself:

When you are emotionally dependent, you don’t have confidence in yourself. You doubt your decisions, always give priority to other’s points of view. Your own will and wish are lost somewhere in the battle of right or wrong. Eventually, your ability to make decisions disintegrates, and you become handicapped.

How to Break Free from Emotional Dependency?

Believe in yourself:

Take some time to discover yourself, what you are capable of, and how much you are worth. Believe in yourself and your ability to make wise choices. You have more potential than you know.

“To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you are not, pretend you are.”

(Muhammad Ali)

Avoid being too close to others:

Make friends and form relationships but also have some space. When you become too close to someone, you start sharing everything with that person. Your day starts with their good morning and ends with their goodnight. You spend a happy and sad time with that person. When that person goes away from you, it hurts you a lot.

Spend time with yourself:

From your routine take time for yourself. Make yourself feel special. Eat something that makes you feel happy. Make strategies for your growth and success. Visit lovely places.

Do all that stuff will make you feel happy.

Value your feelings:

Without hurting others, feelings and emotions must be respected. Your emotions are just as important as everyone else’s. Don’t let anyone else tell you what you feel or your feelings are baseless. You are the one to decide what you feel.

When you care for someone a lot and he doesn’t value it, don’t waste your feelings and time who doesn’t deserve it.

“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”

 (Johnny Depp)

Meditation:

During meditation, you concentrate your attention and clear your mind of the jumbled thoughts that could be bothering you and causing stress. Our mind becomes relax and our vision becomes clear so you no longer need someone to console you when you are sad. You become enough emotionally strong that you can deal with your stuff alone.

Conclusion:

We all depend on others but too much dependence whether it is emotional or financial is a curse. Emotional dependence may lead to some serious mental and social problems. So if you are facing this problem don’t be worried just start believing and loving yourself. Take small steps to overcome this. Soon you would be a free person.

“…it is not a dependency that creates your future. Its independence.”

(Jim Rohn)
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