Life is a continuous learning experience. Throughout our life, we fall and rise and go through many ups and downs, each of which teaches us an important life lesson. Everyone has its own set of rules. Some live a carefree life and think in a way that everything that happened to them was destined to happen. They can’t do anything about it. What they do is adopt a simple pattern of living; they always hope for the best and expect life to be kind to them. Even when life gives them lemons, they believe that their destiny would eventually take them where they need to be.
Other people, however, understand that life is an opportunity. If used in an effective way it will show them their truest potentials. They proactively work hard to understand life and the lessons it tries to teach them. Usually, this type of person has directed towards the right approach of life. Because he explores and pays attention to the lessons that life teaches him.
But the wisest of them all is the person who learns from others’ mistakes. This is 100% true that you definitely have an advantage in life if you can learn from other people’s mistakes and realizations instead of learning through your own trial and error. Because life is too short to make the mistakes that others have already made. Life is happening all the time and all around us, so if we pay attention, we can learn a lot. Sometimes the greatest lesson is that: who we don’t want to be or what we don’t want to do. When we make choices based on observations of other people’s success or failures, we save ourselves a lot of time and grief.
Why We Need to Learn Some Life Lessons before turning 25
Life lessons are the accumulated knowledge of years of living. But all life lessons are not equal. Some simply have more importance and greater value when you learn them earlier in life. There are some life lessons that you need to learn as soon as possible. At least by the time you are 25.
1. Your Self-Love must be Stronger than Your Desire to be Loved
Happiness comes from within. Nothing in the world can make you feel happy if you don’t love yourself enough. Sometimes, when we feel sad, we think that external validation can bring us happiness. The number of followers, positively and praising social media comments or Instagram likes will not change that. Because validation is an internal process. No matter how many people love you it will never be enough if you don’t know how to love yourself.
“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.”– Eartha Kitt
Best life doesn’t need Validation
If you think you are enjoying your best life which has, perfect relationship, good relation with siblings, enough and loyal best friends, dreamed career and job than there would not be any need to show that ‘best life’ to others. The most convincing sign that someone is truly living the best life is the lack of desire to show people that they are living the best life. Because it is the insecurity about your best life that seeks validation.
2. Life has its own Patterns
Just like social media platforms that have their patterns of showing you more of what you are interested in. Life also has its own patterns. It provides you about which you are always thinking and focusing on.
Our mind is like a sponge. If you place a sponge beside clear water, the sponge will soak it up. If you place it beside acid, it will soak that up as well. The sponge doesn’t have a choice. It will contain whatever it soaks up.
If you focus on what you have lost, anxiety, depression, failing a test, not being able to get a job, living a miserable life, and on negative thoughts then you will make decisions accordingly. These decisions will become your actions.
Or you can train your mind to think positive, safe, loved, ambitious, successful, and the algorithms of happiness then life will provide you in exactly that way. Because you become what you actually focus on. Seek what you love and the universe will help you with it.
The good news is that since our beliefs and thought patterns are learned, they can be unlearned or relearned. We can change and overcome self-critical, negative thought patterns with deliberate effort, and persistent effort.
3. You and Only You are Responsible for Your Emotional Reactions
Piyush Shrivastav says that, “What we feel is a choice.”
Typically when we experience a negative emotional reaction towards something or someone, we blame others about it. We see that the emotional hurt was due to the other person and we try to prevent him from the hurtful behavior.
But, that reaction was actually caused due to sensitivity to certain stimuli. You can blame others for making your time here on earth despondent, or you can use mindfulness and take responsibility for your own reactions. After you’ve done the work of feeling your emotional reactions and then identifying your hot buttons, improvement becomes easier. After choosing the mindful route, you will notice that, with practice, you gradually start controlling your emotional reactions.
Having a sense of control over your emotional reactions gives off enough confidence to take over your life. If you think that you don’t have the power to control it, then you will spend your life easily triggered and often sad.
“When you react, you let others control you. When you respond, you are in control.”― Bohdi Sanders
4. If it’s Real, They will want to See You Win
“Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour. True friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but they are always there.” – Habeeb Akande
Wise people say that if you ever hesitate to tell a friend or partner your good news. You better get new friends or partners. You don’t have to have those friends that don’t want to see you succeed, grow, and progress. They will hold you back with their negative comments, pessimism, and dishonest feedback.
Why having a Supportive Friend or Partner is Important
When your friend or partner is loyal and supportive, you will quickly learn that he will be with you through thick and thin. You both will go through some tough times and some very good times. You will not need to question where you stand in the friendship, as he will remind you daily with his actions how important you are to him. It does not mean that he is going to follow you wherever you go blindly. He will help you by identifying the pros and cons of a decision you’re about to make. Plus he does not have an ulterior motive in showing that he cares for you. He just genuinely do.
5. The Ability to Handle Uncertainty Defines Your Life
Change is a part of life. Sometimes it’s positive and other times less so. The biggest issue that most people struggle with when it comes to change is dealing with uncertainty. Because there is no certainty about what will happen during a time of change, many people either try to control events or other people or they simply shut down. But avoiding all risk is the biggest mistake.
Uncertainty – simply produces fear, worry, and doubt. But one must know that in order to succeed and to get from a miserable place to a happy place. One must have to be brave enough to go through a scary, vulnerable, and lonely stage called uncertainty.
Because in the end, your ability to handle the uncertainty will define how far you can go.
6. There is no Perfection, Only Room for Improvement
The word ‘Perfection’ is just a lie. Our society frames our minds in a way that makes us believe that after doing a certain number of things we can achieve perfection. So many folks seem obsessed with this search for perfection; this quest to live beyond criticism. They make us believe that;
“Find yourself; your life will be perfect!”
“Find your truest passion; your life will be sorted!”
“Find your soul mate; you will have your dreamed life!”
The dreamed life and the perfection they promise are just white lies. Know that, anything we call perfect is not perfect. Your perfect pattern of doing a task will always have an improved and a better way of doing that thing. Even your perfect job will still need an improvement a promotion. After all, life is all about seeking and finding improvements. If not, then what lefts? No system is perfect. No policy, no economy, no organization, no piece of software, no productivity system, no appliance, no ‘life hack’. All of them have strengths and weaknesses – if not for you, then for somebody else.
No matter how good you get you can always get better, and that’s the exciting part.Tiger Woods
7. Never Let Rejection lead to Self-rejection
Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in daily life especially between the ages of 17-35 years. Today, thanks to electronic communications, social media platforms, and dating apps, that keeps the whole world connected. Also, they leave us feeling rejected as a result of ignored posts, chats, texts, or dating profiles. In addition to these kinds of minor rejections, we are still vulnerable to serious and more devastating rejections as well. Such as the pain we feel when our spouse leaves us, when we get fired from our jobs, or snubbed by our friends can make us feel powerless.
This rejection process sometimes makes people fear it. And when a person starts fearing rejection it is possible that he might tend to run away before they can be rejected. They start to avoid the circumstances that could bring rejection. Emotional pain is one of the ways rejections impact our well-being. Rejections damage our self-esteem and it destabilizes our need to ‘belong’.
The best way to boost the feelings of self-worth after a rejection is to affirm aspects of yourself you know are valuable. Rejections are never easy to deal with. But trying to limit the psychological damage, and rebuilding your self-esteem when it happens, will help you get out of it.
8. People Come and Go and that’s Okay
Throughout the course of one’s life, the average person meets approximately 10,000 people. Those who are here for a REASON are usually put in place to help you through a tough time or vice versa. They are here to offer support and guidance when you may need it the most. And when their work is done, they leave.
Someone wise once said, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
It is the cycle of life and it is absolutely necessary. As we all know that life is all about quality and not the quantity. This process hurts but if accepted, it serves to improve the quality and suitability of the people in your life.
The most important people in your life can become strangers overnight.
All strangers can become important people overnight. Also, one quality friend can give you 100 acquaintances. One quality relationship can give you more than 100 flings.
The coming and going of individuals should be celebrated more often. After all, it just means their work in your life, is done.
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